it has been one of the greatest years of my life. it’s also been painful. i learned how much i love it. moments. time. people. the human experience. myself… i learned i’ve just begun, and barely.
i learned i really didn’t want to leave here, but i would be fine if it happened.
i learned i still live through my 6 year old self. how great that can be. but i’ve also learned when it hasn’t. that somehow parts of a childhood can still be engrained within us, unnoticed. i’ve learned that when i feel the throbbing in my heart, it’s her.
i learned when to stop listening. i learned when to walk away. and at times i forgot that i’ve learned how to hear. but then i learned i needed to keep practicing. because if i didn’t i could easily unlearn.
i learned if i care this much about life, i needed to be here with a totality.
i learned taking care of my mind had to be done through my body.
i learned i need to take keto seriously. also that moose tracks by kawartha dairy is the best icecream ever and i’m so glad cassia introduced it to me.
i learned how much we believe in lies. thoughts, the ones we tell ourselves. feelings, especially the ones we think others tell us. and then all the ones everyone believes.
i learned knowing the truth isn’t always easy, it requires a clear window. a way to see the outside. i learned meditation, yoga, and continuous reflection are lifestyle practices i needed to adopt (and have).
i learned how deeply i want to be here for other people. i learned how much i need to build our world.
i even learned how i want to build it, something i feel so grateful for.
i learned tommy moffat is a friend i will cherish forever. i learned talha atta is compassionate. i learned that safina mohammad will really listen to me. that shifra khan is my sister. shagun maheshwari fills me with joy. izzy grandic inspires me. julian is a true friend. mateo jaden jackson and paj changed my life. that ammi & papa didn’t agree, and i love them anyways.
i want to say i learned that last paragraph almost made me cry, but i knew that already. love is the ultimate.
lastly, i learned how to be so still that i learned how i wanted to move.
thank you Nazra. and, thank you – Nazra.
Year in Review
Systemic Racism Deep Dive: https://www.notion.so/Dismantling-Systemic-Racism-Phase-1-1906e444a89a436cbc6b9cc02db4e906
Consulting with World Tour Foundation:
- Life is a gift. It’s something I didn’t choose, and was given to me. Deciding how to live though, as our most authentic selves, is a gift that only we can give ourselves. And it’s an important one to give.
- The content of our lives is not what determines the quality of our life. The context of our life is what does. And the context is dependent on us. I am the primary source of my joy. I can be alone and be the most joyful, and I can be with others and be the most joyful.
- Life is beautiful. It’s boundless. It’s open. No matter what happens, it’s incredible to even be alive. And I want to remind myself of that place of gratitude. I can use this gratitude to guide how I interact with the rest of the world.
- Most people live their lives ruled by others. Kids tied to their parents, students tied to college, employees tied to employers. We can continue to do the same thing as before, but it is important to do whatever it is awake. To be alert, to be alive, and to decide if what you’re doing is what YOU would do.
- To experience the feeling of emotions can’t be based on the emotion itself. It’s not based on the experience. It’s not based on the situation, the subjectiveness, your capacity to feel, your values in life.. it’s based on awareness. If you bring awareness and consciousness without a pre-determined decision on the emotional experience, emotions that are valid will stay, and ones that aren’t will dissipate. There is no repression, and no false control involved in this. The ones that dissipate, dissipate on their own. Sometimes you will even be surprised at the ones which go. And the ones that stay, they will stay on their own
- Creativity isn’t great art. Creativity isn’t even bound to great art. Creativity is an action that flows from consciousness. This action presents itself as new or innovative, relative to you.
- I am not my identity. We are not how we are perceived, even when we are perceived by ourselves. I am nobody, I just exist, and there is only ever truly the present moment.
- I want to build our future. And I can do it, not because I can encourage myself – but because there are tools almost anyone can leverage to build our world. The vision: increasing collective human consciousness, making the systems and constructs we live with sustainable and intentional, and building a community of creatives & entrepreneurs who work together to build this world.
It’s been a great year. I’m looking forward to my 20s! Thank you for supporting me, I’ll catch you on my monthly updates.