Originally written and published in my monthly newsletter, October 15 2019
When people are being unkind, reserved, or even when they’re scared, they’re often in pain. The average person hurts easily, which translates to most people we meet are or have been usually hurting.
Subconsciously, because of evolution/biology, we crave attention and care, so when we hurt we naturally self-reinforce that feeling to hurting even more (especially around other people) in hopes to have someone fulfill our need for attention/care. I’ve realized this by observing the people around me, but also when thinking about this at a meta level.
I don’t think most people have a deep level of self-awareness. As a result, it’s usually up to external experiences to occur for people to move past pain. Especially when people recieve patience and compassion, they’ll be more willing to reflect on what’s actually happening inside of them (either through a conversation with someone or later on their own time).
Takeaway: Being kinder and more caring allows the opportunity for others to make progress on their experiences. (Pain + Thoughtful Reflection = Progress). Hence, action item, express (even more) patience towards people who seem to be hurting and give them “love”/care.